Found ...and still lost...

Yesterday was a glorious day! My friend, Susan, was found!!! The police will not disclose her location as she does not wish to be found. Neither does she wish to return home. It is very sad. ( You can view the newspaper article here: http://www.contracostatimes.com/news/ci_10847290 )

During the investigation, Susan's personal journals were discovered and in it is portrayed a very different person than everyone knew, even her husband. It came as quite a shock. Apparently, she feels there is some threat to her family if she remains in their lives, so she has opted to simply "disappear" into hiding, for however long, until she feels the threat is no longer existent. No one knows exactly what this threat is, whether it is a real, valid threat or perhaps some perceived threat. Only God knows.

And that is the hardest part. Having faith and being okay with the "not knowing". In life, there are so many times we have to just accept the way things are and there is nothing we can do about it. I guess this is one of those times.

No one can make her come back, she is an adult and can do as she pleases in this life. She hasn't done anything illegal, so she cannot be taken into custody and brought back. Many may view this as abandoning her family but as far as she was concerned, she had no choice. If she did not leave, her family would come to harm in some way. I do not know if my friend is mentally OK, I do not know anything more than this, so all I can do is continue to pray for her...and miss her...

Eliana

Heartsick...

So, my friend was on the morning news today...the police are asking for the public's help in finding her or any information that will help lead them to her. It has now been over 3 weeks since my dear friend Susan went missing and this past Tuesday, the 21st, a letter was received written by her, to her 4 sons and the letter reads:

"Dear Michael, Daniel, David & Dennis,
My Beloved sons whom I asked and begged and pleaded with God to give me. I know you cannot possibly understand what happened. I don't expect you to. I do hope you look at it remembering the mother I have been to you all these years and God's obedient servant. Then maybe you can forgive me instead of hate me.

It may look as if I abandoned you. The truth is I left in order to protect you. I was driven away from my home by wicked men and not given help by other men. So believe what you want, God knows and when you are older I hope we have the opportunity to be together again. Right now it is best for you for me to be out of your life because what was happening continues, but at least now you are not in it because of me. When I am confident that it is safe I will let you know how to reach me so we can remain in contact. Until don't take my silence as not caring, or forgetting about you - It's because I love you that I am hiding.

I have a roof over my head, usually I have food and always always always I have God with me. Please don't forget me. I will never be able to come back, but maybe someday you can come to where I am. I always love you, I always pray for you.

Love Mom"

My heart is sick, my heart is heavy and broken for her 4 boys... I do not know if she is mentally well, if this threat is real or simply a figment of a damaged mind... I do know that nothing will ever be the same for her children. The damage has been done to them. The minute it was realized that she was gone, their hearts were broken beyond repair...and it pains me to think of what they must be going through...their Mom is lost, in more ways than one...and even if she returns to their lives, nothing will ever be the same again, for any of them.

How do you reconcile that? This is one of those "how can God allow this to happen" times for me... I just don't understand...

"Primping"....not just for girls!

The picture above is of our shower. Yes, I have 2 boys and those are what I have dubbed "moo-fahs", you know, loofahs are for ladies, moofahs are for men! LOL

Our boys have started taking an interest in how they look and smell. And not a moment too soon, I tell ya! There was a time, not too long ago, where you would have thought I was out of my mind telling our boys to take an interest in their personal appearance! "Why?" was the general consensus... "if my hair is messy, i'll just wear a hat..." they had been known to say! Now, less than a year later, they each have their own bottle of Axe bodywash AND bodyspray because God forbid they should smell the same!

I'm sure I have written about a similar topic in past posts but I just giggled when I opened the shower curtain the other day and saw the items pictured, neatly placed next to one another on the far shower wall. That's how blog inspiration strikes, so I had to go with it!

So, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons will find our boys taking 2nd showers before youth group (they attend 2 different ones at 2 different churches), combing their hair, dressing in a fresh set of clothes and yes, "primping" with the Axe bodysprays...cough, cough! (I can be heard telling them they sprayed too much! Ha!)

Most of my friends have girls.. well, i'm hear to tell ya, i'm not getting off easy over here in the house of testosterone & Axe body products...it's just different products!

Blessings!
Eliana

The end of an era...

When I was young, I fell inlove with Mother's Circus Animal cookies. You know the ones...the pink and white frosted animal-shaped cookies, covered in rainbow-colored non-pariels (sprinkles)? But my Mom didn't want to buy them for us because they had too much sugar. So, when I was old enough to buy my own snacks, guess what I practically overdosed on? You got it! Mother's Circus Animals cookies!

Thus began my love affair with Mother's cookies. My dearly departed paternal grandmother, Nana Rosa, used to buy the variety pack that came with the Iced Oatmeal, Taffy, & those Iced Raisin cookies in it. She loved the Iced Raisin ones, I always remember that : ) I fell inlove with the Taffy cookies.

So, you can imagine how I felt when I heard on the news yesterday that after 92 years, Mother's cookies went bankrupt and will cease production immediately! I was so sad! And you know what that means, right? Whatever cookies are on the store shelves right now....that's ALL THERE IS !!! If I want to enjoy those beloved cookies, for the last time in my lifetime, I must stock up NOW!

They will keep quite a while unopened and I have even considered freezing some packages! LOL Do you know that I could probably buy a bunch and resell them on EBay for a profit?! How hilarious is that?! I bet there are people out there who would buy them! I heard the other day on the news that a guy paid an insane amount for the last hot dog sold at Yankee Stadium! And guess what he did with it? He ate it! (you thought I was going to say something crazy like he preserved it in bronze, didn't you? Ha!) And all the proceeds of the sale went to charity, so that's cool.

So, if you are a fellow Mother's cookies lover like me, run, don't walk, to your local market and stock up on your favorites now, before they are gone....it's the end of an era, I tell ya...so sad...

Eliana

Desperately Seeking Susan...

I have a friend named Susan. We have known her & her husband for over 7 years now. They have 4 boys: 9 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old & 17 years old. They are a homeschooling family, like us, so we have a lot in common. My husband works with her husband nearly every weekend. Our boys grew up together the last 7 years. Susan and I don't get to visit very often due to our busy schedules (she plays cello in the church Orchestra and attends regular Bible studies, I run our Private School and teach children's baking classes for the community college) but I adore her. Every year we spend New Year's Eve with them up at their house with other families and all our kids. Everyone brings board games, food, drink & we ring in the New Year together. I am blessed to count her amongst my friends!

Over the past year Susan had been having struggles with her health. She is a marathon runner and had some issues with her foot at one point. Then one day when she was out for a run, she blacked out and the park police found her fallen on the side of the road! (They live literally on a mountain, up on the property of the local gun range, her husband is the range master up there) So, there began the concern with her mental well-being. I believe she had another blackout, possibly, I can't recall the details....I had growing concern for her...I worried what might be wrong. She started acting rather odd and "spacey". She just wasn't herself at all...

On Saturday, September 27th, Susan got up and left her home for an earlymorning Bible Study....she never arrived at the Bible study and was never seen or heard from again. Susan has now been missing for 11 days...

My heart is heavy. Her husband is besides himself. Overnight he became a single parent, working full-time (saving grace that he lives where he works and they homeschool!!!) and managing 4 boys! The church has rallied around the family and 2 friends that homeschool (1 is me) have taken in the 3 younger boys and are schooling them with their own kids. I am coordinating meals for them so that the husband doesn't have to worry about feeding the kids while he has regular meetings with the police investigators and church pastors, etc!

It seems that Susan possibly returned home later that morning and collected some personal items, such as a toothbrush, but neglected to take her cell phone....all these things leave us all confused. Did she plan to leave all along? What was her mental state? How could no one know what was going on with her? How unbelievably sad that she may have been so unhappy for whatever reason that she would leave her 4 children behind without a trace, without a word, explanation or good-bye! It absolutely devastates me to think of her out there somewhere...is she okay physically? Mentally? What in God's name is happening with her? I want answers, her family wants answers....I can only imagine, if I am hurting like I am, how about her 9 year old boy? How can you even begin to explain how a mom could leave her babies...regardless of how old they are, our children are our children...something has got to be wrong mentally, in my opinion, for a woman to just up and leave...

So, I am sending flyers to shelters, coordinating meals, schooling her young teenage son, making phone calls, worrying, crying, praying, pleading to God that she is okay, that He would just send some tiny sign of her, in whatever way, so that we may know SOMETHING....the not knowing is the absolute hardest part.

I guess the lesson in all this is the old adage of "tell the people you care about that you care when you see them, for no reason because you may never know, tomorrow they may be gone..."

So, to all my friends who are reading this blog entry: Thank you, thank you, for the blessing of your friendship! Our lives get so busy and it takes time to stay in touch, to show one another that we care...but it's SO worth the effort! I love you all SO MUCH!!!

Gratefully yours,
Eliana

First rain of the season...

Yesterday I woke up to that wonderful, distinctive smell that comes with the first rainfall of the season... It had rained overnight and everything was moist. Not too heavy a rain, as the cars showed dirty raindrop marks on them, like it had just lightly sprinkled and not for long. I opened up the sliding back door, as I sat on my computer, I said to my younger son, Andrew, "There's that smell I love...the one that comes after the first rain..."

I think the feeling I get is one of anticipation, like it is officially fall and the holidays are on their way! Just like a certain song can evoke memories, so do scents hold many memories for us... Andrew remarked the other day, when he smelled an apple spice candle, "Mom, it feels like Christmas because last year we had that scent in our house at Christmastime!"

For me, it's the scent of pine that reminds me of Christmases long ago, when we always had a real tree. Since the boys were mobile, we switched to a fake tree one year and I have longed for a real tree the last couple of years. I think this year will be the year we treat ourselves to a return to traditional Christmas with the purchase of a real tree! Of course, that means the extra expense of purchasing a water-holding tree stand and the daily maintenance of watering the tree, but I think it will be well worth it. Perhaps we'll make it a family excursion and actually go cut one down like we did at times when I was growing up. That's the stuff memories are made of!

So, bring some autumn scents into your home...start stirring up those heartfelt memories...the season is quickly approaching! Here is a recipe to make your home smell wonderful:

Maple Spice Cookies

3 c. flour
3 Tbsp. cornstarch
1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 c. packed light brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt
1 large egg
2 Tbsp. maple syrup

Coarse sugar, for sprinkling

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Line one or more baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour and cornstarch.
3. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer, beat the butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, baking powder and salt until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.
4. Add the egg and maple syrup, and beat well. Add half the flour mixture and blend, then add the rest of the flour. Scoop the dough out of the bowl, form into a ball, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to overnight.
5. Divide dough in half and, working with one piece at a time (keep the other piece in the refrigerator to stay chilled), roll the dough out, flouring to make certain it doesn't stick, to a 1/8 inch thickness.
6. Cut out cookies with a 2- to 3-inch maple-leaf shaped cookie cutter. Using a spatula, remove cookies to parchment lined baking sheet. (Re-chill the dough if it gets too warm).
7. Sprinkle the cookies with coarse sugar. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until the cookies are lightly browned around the edges. Cool the cookies for several minutes on the baking sheet and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 3 1/3 dozen cookies.

Enjoy!
Eliana